By Cathy Breen
Voices in the Wilderness
September 21 and 22, 2003
Baghdad

Dear Friends,

Today I went to the hospital to see Joaan.

Ed and I had gone the day before yesterday in the afternoon to find her sitting on the side of her bed with a plate of fish next to her. Her mother and aunt were with her, and they received us warmly. I drew encouragement to see that she was eating, and apologized for interrupting her meal. She assured us she was finished and excused herself to walk with her mother the few steps to the bathroom to wash her hands. Her movements were slow and gracious despite her weakened condition. She seemed so “stately” given her height and her thinness.

I had brought a few snapshots along of family and friends and asked her if she’d like to see them. Included among them was a snapshot I’d taken last year in Iraq of the place where the Tigris and Euphrates rivers unite. She told me how to say the names of these rivers in Arabic. Before we left I told her how many people in the United States were praying for her, sending their love and wishing for her to get well. Little did Ed and I suspect as we said goodbye that we wouldn’t see her again.

Earlier this morning I was finally able to meet with Dr. Alim after four failed attempts to try and get together. Like everyone else in the city, I have spent hour after hour caught in traffic jams and unable to reach people by telephone. I had not seen Dr. Alim for many months. The invasion and four months of occupation stood between us. He looked wasted and much older than his years, his tall frame stooped. An epidimiologist and professor, Dr. Alim has headed up some of the most comprehensive and contemporary studies to date stablizing the relationship between D.U. and the alarming rise in childhood cancers and congenital deformities.

I was eager to hear from him and discuss the possibility of further investigative studies, but my initial enthusiasm was tempered by his solemnity. I could sense the enormous burden he and his colleagues are carrying. Everything is in a state of chaos with no sign of improvement. I agreed with him that the Minstry of Health should be involved now in any D.U. research, but the CPA is the boss now, and no one seems to know what their policies or projects are. Given our track record in the U.S. to play down (or cover up) the use of and harmful effects of DU, it would seem that much needed DU investigations and research might not be forthcoming without a struggle. It should be no surprise if people are fearful to undertake such research under the Bremer rule.

In the last days letters have been going furiously to and fro to the organizers of a World Uranium Weapons conference, to be held in mid-October in Germany, recommending that Dr. Alim be invited. Many of us feel that no one is in a better position than Dr. Alim to begin to plan vigorous and meaningful studies of the Iraqi population exposed to the detonation of D.U. munitions during the recent “war” in Iraq. But at the time of our visit this morning, it seemed that all possible avenues toward this end had been exhausted. In spite of this, I had the sense as we parted that we’d been mutually strengthened during our time together. Once again proof that the “powers that be” are not strong enough to severe the human ties that bind us.

From the Medical college I went to the hospital to see Joaan. In the hall I was met by one of the resident doctors I had met on a previous visit who recognized me. “She is gone” he said, and it took me several seconds to realize that he was trying to tell me that she had died. I later found out from our friend, Dr. Salma, who heads up the Oncology unit that she had died only a short time after our visit. Very suddenly, in a matter of only a minute or so, she had begun to vomit up blood and then stopped breathing. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia is the medical term for her condition. Oh Joaan! is this the legacy we have left your country with our deadly weapons of destruction?

After receiving this news I left the unit despite some of the little faces who had come to the door of their ward with their mothers to greet me.

Later I went to the internet center to find that a letter of invitation had come from the conference coordinator in Germany inviting Dr. Alim to the conference. It seemed somehow miraculous.

September 22, 2003

There is so much to write you, so much to tell. Ed and I went to the CPA the other day to try and get an updated list of the detainees. We were able to get inside the gate with our ID, but when we arrived at the palace gate and requested to see Judge Campbell, we were asked by a soldier if we had an appointment. “No, we have no telephone service and were unable to call in advance.”

We explained what we wanted, that it wasn’t necessary perhaps to speak with him directly–maybe with someone from the Justice department. “No” was the reply. “You must go to the Ministry of Justice and get an appointment.”

“Where is that?” we asked.

“I don’t know,” we were told.

“Does it even exist?” we asked.

“I don’t know,” we were told.

We heard a rumor that the curfew might be dropped. How can this be possible without electricity being restored? People do not feel safe. People are not safe. No street lights, no lights on in many houses and in many stores. The police have no authority, small handguns being no match for semi-automatics. They have no telephones or communication system, no way they can call for backup help. We have heard accounts of thieves being captured by Iraqi police only to be released later by coalition autorities! If it were not so dangerous we would go to Falluja to investigate how nine Iraqis on the police force chasing a vehicle with thieves could have been shot and killed by coalition forces. We would go there to speak with the families of these police officers to see how they are faring.

A friend has a new baby. There is no place to register the child. Another friend, a professor, told us that because there are no records in the university, the professors were being asked to try and recall by memory which students were in their classes. I was with a doctor friend this morning who has been invited to England to take part in a 5-week training course. She is lucky because she has a valid passport. There is no way presently for an Iraqi to get a passport. But our friend is worried that she and her colleagues won’t be able to cross over into Jordan. We understand that Iraqis are being turned away at the border despite having visas from other countries. She asked if I could help her to get some official paper? But we are not sure where we should go, to whom should we turn. No one seems to know just who the official authority is or where to find them. The British Embassy moved out of the U.N. after the explosion. Someone told me today that they are being housed in the CPA compound. We are on the lookout for someone who can assist us to find a way to speak with someone from that Embassy after we find out where it is. We all seem to be in the dark here in more ways than one.

I will close now. I hope this reaches you together with a picture of Joaan. Much love, cathy