Sheila Provencher
Christian Peacemaker Teams
1 November 2004

When I returned to Baghdad yesterday, Um Yousif* and her husband — both Iraqi Christians who have lived here their entire lives — gave me a cake. Chocolate, with white-flowered frosting blobs and green lettering. “Wellcom to Baghdad,” it read.

“We’re sorry that the baker spelled the word wrong,” smiled Um Yousif. “But at least it is a big WELL.”

Unfortunately, things are far from well. Um Yousif does not leave her house, not even to buy groceries. Fear of violence or kidnapping reigns. “I do not think it will get better, even after our elections,” she said. “It will only change when the Americans leave. So many people just cannot bear that the American army is here. If they leave, there is no one left to fight. It could get better within months.”

She paused. “But my heart feels for the American soldiers and their families. So many killed. They are human beings. We are all human beings.”

One month ago, at a Greyhound bus station, I met an American soldier. A human being. George H. fought in Vietnam, and continued in active service until 1982. George was waiting for the next bus to take him to the St. Louis V.A. Hospital, where he would seek treatment for his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I met him because he was in an animated discussion with another traveler about Iraq. “It’s the same thing,” he kept saying.

George was “17 or 18″ when he fought in Vietnam. He saw his best friend cut in half by a grenade. But what was most devastating to him was the experience of killing people himself.

“I was just a kid,” he told me. “I didn’t want to kill anyone.” His face twists and he starts to cry. “I REALLY didn’t want to kill anyone.”

Now, he wakes up with nightmares about three times per week. He’s depressed every day, his marriage fell apart, and he clearly struggles with alcohol, as his breath smells of liquor at 7:30am. What haunts him most of all is the fact that he has killed. “Iraq: it’s the same thing. It’s the same thing,” he says.

Over his shoulder, in a corner of the bus station, I can see two boys playing a video game. The game is called “Target: Terror.” The boys aim a large red plastic gun at the screen, blasting faceless terrorists in the midst of city streets.

Human beings. George could kill Vietnamese people because he was taught to see them not as human beings but as “gooks.” Kidnappers acting in Iraq cannot see Margaret Hassan and others as human beings, but as tools, pawns. American soldiers and fighter pilots poised to attack Fallujah will be able to kill people only because they are trained to see “insurgents” or civilian “collateral damage.” Our own government and we ourselves even tend to refer to the human beings in the armed forces as “troops” or “casualties.”

“Father, we do not know what we are doing.”

Help us to see each other.
Help us to see.

*Note: All names have been changed

Christian Peacemaker Teams is an ecumenical violence-reduction program with roots in the historic peace churches. Teams of trained peace workers live in areas of lethal conflict around the world. CPT has been present in Iraq since October, 2002.
To learn more about CPT, please visit www.cpt.org.
Photos of our projects may be viewed at www.cpt.org/gallery