By Maxine Nash,
Christian Peacemaker Teams

The medical world uses a term called “flatlining.” The basic meaning has to do with a machine connected to an individual to monitor their heart. When the heart is beating normally the screen of the monitor shows a mountain range of peaks and valleys, indicating the comforting thump-thump of a regularly beating heart. When the heart is not working normally, the peaks and valleys may be less mountainous, less regular. If the heart dies, the screen shows a flat line.

In my work with Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT) I have to be careful about the flatlining of my own soul. I work in conditions where there is so much trauma, so much death and destruction, that part of my coping mechanism includes hardening my heart to what I see and hear, just so it won’t overwhelm me.

I even hear a few Iraqis mentioning this phenomenon now. One friend said, “Every day I see the bombs and the killing on TV. I think I should feel badly about this, but I can’t because there is so much. I must survive, so I can’t think about it.”

I’m not always aware when I’m becoming hardened to my own soul, but it was brought back to me yesterday, like an electric shock to a patient who has flat-lined. Friends of the team told us that they had received a threatening phone call at their home regarding their association with foreigners. The friends are scared. How safe is their home now, how safe are their children? How would I feel if something happened to them?

It’s something the team and I take very seriously. This is an unusual situation for CPT because we may have actually increased danger to others. We are very careful with our friends and our working partners here, and continually ask them how they feel about being with us. We remind them that they should always feel free to tell us if we shouldn’t visit, or if we shouldn’t be seen with them.

So why are they still willing to be with us?

I think it has to do with their own amazing capacity for living full, rich lives. They’ve had so many traumas in the last 20 years, so many reasons to harden their hearts. However, they’ve decided not to just live, but to live abundantly. They don’t let themselves become ruled by fear but rather move through it with their faith and with the idea that life is joyous. In other words, they’ve rejected flatlining as a way of life.

In our world, that now carries so many messages of fear, we need to be reminded that if we harden our hearts we can survive, but it’s not the same as living.

Christian Peacemaker Teams is an ecumenical violence-reduction program with roots in the historic peace churches. Teams of trained peace workers live in areas of lethal conflict around the world. CPT has been present in Iraq since October, 2002. To learn more about CPT, please visit http://www.cpt.org. Photos of CPT’s projects may be viewed at http://www.cpt.org/gallery