By Peggy Gish

I saw something different in the faces of the women at the women’s wedding party in Kerbala. Their eyes were open and welcoming, ready to risk, and ready to see how much alike we are.

In Baghdad, so many eyes were heavy and tense with worry, or averted out of fear or suspicion. Even among our long-time Iraqi friends, the strain was evident. While trying to be sensitive to those who no longer feel safe to relate to us, we found ourselves pulling back from others, not wanting to put them is danger.

At this wedding, the women’s eyes were free enough to convey the many feelings dancing around the room. There were the eyes of the children, flashing with excitement and curiosity, taking in the mysteries of this event. The eyes of the teens were full of dreams and imagination about this day in their own future. The bride’s eyes were nervous, as she tried to play this dignified beauty-queen role, relaxing some when her family greeted her. I saw in the middle-aged eyes more realism about the stresses and responsibility of marriage, but also a desire to relive the excitement of these traditions and pass them on to the next generation. Many pulled off their scarves, revealing stylish hairdos. One passed along a playful wink at me as she began trilling (a high-pitched sound made through a fast rolling of the tongue) and let herself go to the beat of the clapping and dancing.

Next to me was a row of older women, fully covered in conservative black, unsure about the modern new styles now mixed in with the old. They were no longer active players, but beloved and part of the stability of the clan. Here were weary and worn eyes, full of strength and character, some surrounded by countless wrinkles. One of those pairs of eyes looked at me intently, and, for longer than is usually normal in that society, our eyes locked. It was long enough to reveal her worry, but also acceptance and strength. She tried to tell me something, but her voice got lost in another wave of trilling.

To me it didn’t matter what she said. Something happened to me as I looked into her eyes. She revealed herself to me. I felt accepted for who I was, another woman who shared the same struggles for life. All the eyes I saw today started the melting of the protective wall I had let grow up around my heart while in Iraq, but her eyes completed the task. I let the tears well up in my eyes and allowed the love I had previously known for the Iraqi people to flow freely. In that moment of joy, I savored God’s gift that would feed me and give me strength for the hard things my eyes might see in the days ahead.

Christian Peacemaker Teams is an ecumenical violence-reduction program with roots in the historic peace churches. Teams of trained peace workers live in areas of lethal conflict around the world. CPT has been present in Iraq since October, 2002. To learn more about CPT, please visit http://www.cpt.org. Photos of CPT projects may be viewed at www.cpt.org/gallery