By Raghad Toma

Missiles crashing, gun shooting, innocent people dying
and others crying, is what I had to face everyday.

Everyday we waited to see whether we are going to die
or stay alive and suffer.

My mom kisses me goodnight as I ask her “mom are we going to die”
As she hides her fears and says, “not to worry,
everything will be fine”

We all slept in one shelter with people that we hadn’t even met before,

Some were criminals and thieves. They would come up to us and say
“Give us your money or I will kill you.”

This was said to us in the middle of the bombing at night.

There wasn’t one day that passed by and my sister’s and I did not cry.

We cried for many things in our lives.

I cried for my dad, who had to go fight in the war,
I cried for my mom’s suffering,
I cried fearing for my life, my family’s life and my relatives.
I cried for being so unhappy,
I cried for being a kid and not being able to see or experience
kindergarten.

These were just few things that I cried for.

Being in war cost me everything,
house, money, cousins,
but nothing was compared with the later effects of US bombing of Iraq.

It cost me something that comes naturally and free to all people.
It cost me my happiness and the feeling of being safe.

Thanks to the ones who believe in war, and to the presidents that caused it.
And think that it is the answer to their problems

I have never been able to be normal ever again, not even 11 years later.
And I was told that I would stay the same if I don’t see a psychiatrist.
Which I finally agreed to do.

The only thing that I want in life before I die is a full
day with happiness and being normal.
I want my memory to erase from my brain.
I don’t want to get hurt anymore or live like this.
I just want to be normal.

That’s my story and how war affected me,
Imagine how many others it affected.
People ask me, how come I am sad or quiet often,
After all that I shared with you
Shouldn’t I be?
Now you tell me, what question is war a solution to?

Raghad Toma is 17 years old and now lives in Canada and attends Sheridan College in Mississauga.